Brian and Ruth Christine Newsletter, May 2003 Edition 

Come one come all--- it's the invitation of the month. Come read the krazy antics of the convicted felonious armed robbers, written from behind endless coils of razor wire and gun towers.

I'm here listening to the radio on my headphones as I write to you. They're talking about Bush's proposal to fund 'Christian' and 'faith' based programs. Hearing his voice makes my skin crawl and for the last several months, every time I hear his voice I have to change the station on turn the radio off. That's alarming because it's a guts kind of thing. At a time when everyone is praising him as a great Christian man, I'm getting the creeps. Am I just crazy?

May first was the national day of prayer. One thing I noticed across the board was the surfacing of a universal recognition of our need for national forgiveness. It's like our national condition is so blatant that even the sleepers are recognizing that we need to repent. I think we've crossed some kind of line and everyone in the world knows it. People are pretending it's OK, but knowing on the inside the repercussions are eminent. Eventually the bully will get beat down. No one can stay on top for long. Especially at the end of the age!

When the proverbial solid waste material hits the fan, America will fall hard and fast. Let's pray there's enough left of her afterwards to rebuild a Godly, honest nation. I do declare Jesus is King! Hallelujah! :)

On a personal level, God is working on me. I've been toying with the notion of surrendering my bitterness, anger and resentment, to God, but this is not easy for me. Ruth, the girls and I have been more harassed and abused than we've ever spoken of. Maybe we'll bring that out in the book or the movies but for now, those hurts are hidden in our hearts and in the memories of those who induced them. How to let go of all that pain? How to hate that evil injustice and still love the people who commit it. But I'm a hypocrite and have no place to judge. My own past is dark and clouded with misplaced love. God help me find my way. Amen -

Brian Christine -

This newsletter is not published by an organizations a religions a group, a company on an association.  This newsletter is nothing more than words on paper. Readers are not members of any of the above and shall not be labelled as such.

Glorious Mistakes by Brian Christine 

Why do we so often allow ourselves to believe that the goal is to be good? The goal is to be one. New Agers and Buddhists seem to hit a lot closer to the mark than so many 'Christians'. That may sound shocking, but it's certainly true. I try to keep myself informed on updates and discoveries in fields of science and arts and (as if we should be surprised) most, if not all branches of these are pointing to a unified finite and created universe. 

In fact some of the most advanced and wholistic modern models for the structure of the universe and all laws that exist reduce everything to a string of vibration, something new agers have been saying all along. This is consistent with the Bible which states that by God's spoken word, all things were created. Sound waves move out radially and are in fact a series or progression of vibrations. I suspect that ancient rabinnic tradition also embraces this philosophy and that the new agers are merely borrowing on old information. The word universe from Latin means 'one spoken phrase'- God spoke and all that is seen and unseen was! Bahwah!

Slow down Brian, you're getting too technical. OOps, yeah--- OK. What was Jesus' mission?

His mission was simply to make us one- One with God. One with each other. God is good. We are not. We so often think and dwell on 'being good' or on our shortcomings that make us not good. It has always bothered me when I see people consumed in their own efforts to be good. Haven't we already overcome the world in the work Jesus did? Don't we share in that? I think I am beginning to understand the 'yoke is easy burden is light' thing.

It's like you have this hero and you have all the comic books on him, newspaper clipping of all his appearances and you hear he's in town so you just leave your job and everything to go see him and he likes you and says, come on and be my apprentice. And as you walk down that long dusty shadowy scary valley road you are engrossed in conversation and you marvel at the miracles he hands out like candy.

You are completely enamoured by him. You pass through life and death situations repeatedly, but with him, it's just pan for the course and before you know it, you're standing on a high mountain peak and he tells you to turn, rest and take a look where he brought you to. As you look back you wonder how the hell you EVER survived all those close calls, but it's just 'your life with him' and you wouldn't trade it for comfort, ease on even great riches and it was easy even though it was hand.

And you see at the end of the journey that He is all goodness and if not for Him, your life would have been worthless, but all His work and His many great sufferings brought about one end: Unity with Him.

Unity with the Father. Unity with the Comforter. This is why I say the goal is to be one, not to be good. The effort to be good is often rooted in pride. Even if you break it down from our human perspectives as a mother or father, do we want our kids to be good on do we want the to know God, to be one with Him? Do you see the difference? He is our goodness. 

And He invites us in to unity with Himself.

Peter is my hero- Matthew is probably my favorite New Testament book. Chuck Missler says Matthew presents Jesus as the lion, so it's no wonder I like Matthew so much :) But Peter just amazes me. He was a man of action. I also see him as an underdog because most sermons I've heard are either about how great Paul was or what an idiot Peter was. Someone's always got to be ragging on Peter it seems and I've had an article slated for months entitled "In Defense of Peter", but it seems to be working out here in this article instead.

Why is Peter my hero? Because he was a man of action and he had balls of steel. The reason he made a lot of the mistakes he did is because he had great faith. He was like a kid. I mean they're out there on the raging water and see Jesus coming at them walking on the water!!! (Matthew 19:29-22 Jesus is proud of him in verse 31. He knew it was only a little doubt that caused him to falter and he rebukes him lovingly as a father who wants to encourage him.) And when Peter realizes it's Jesus, he does what any kid would do- Can I come too Jesus? (tears are falling as I write) Is it OK? Filled with faith, he stepped out, no doubt in total wonders awe and breathlessness. As soon as his adult mind kicked in he started to sink and he cried out to his Master, a symbol of what was to come later, a baptism where faith would draw Peter out, satan cut him down and then Jesus restored him, replacing first Adam flesh with last Adam flesh.

Which of the other disciples had the courage or even the thought to step out of the boat, on to defend Jesus at his betrayal? After all, Jesus had ordered them by that point to now carry a sword.

Peter was a pioneer. All pioneers pay and incredibly costly price for the advances they make. Often they die hated, penniless and unrecognized for centuries or perhaps never! Some do become famous and enjoy recognition on earth, but I would guess that those are the minority.

I want to ask your who would Peter have been had he not made the mistakes he did. Denying Jesus was certainly an extremely humbling experience, but with that in his past, how could he ever have confidence in his flesh again?

Check out Peter's language post denial/restoration (acts 3:6, 1:39, 190) In whom is his confidence?

The best servant is the one who knows where he comes from, knows his own weaknesses and has been shown great mercy. Such a one is nearly impossible to pry from his master's side. His confidence will be in his master's sure hands that never fail. For who else would possibly accept one so foul as I but Jesus? In Him I have my everything. Here in prison I have no one else to turn to but Him. He is my stay, my steady rock and my sure confidence.

And who would you be without all your glorious mistakes? How did you first learn to walk? Ware you afraid to fall down? We are taught in church by satan himself to do nothing unless we are absolutely certain it's right. In fact, what we see is a type of preaching that encourages, even praises inactivity, apathy and cowardice. We are told many stories of people living on the edge and falling away as a result... "don't dare take a risk because what if you're wrong!!" The audience gasps and covers their mouths, the fat women pause from fanning themselves for a moment contemplating the dread of failure or the consequences of a mistake. Isn't that why we're here to live and to learn?

I'm not talking experimentation I'm just talking about reaching out for something higher. I'm talking about child-like faith, you see Jesus walking on the water and instead of cowering in fear, you want to be where He is, doing what He's doing. Where is our courage? Where is our bravery? Kids are 12 brave. Can we have a child like faith and retain our aged wisdom? There's a balance there and we're afraid to put any gold on either side... "better to keep it safe, hidden under a basket" we say. But I tell your the Master will be very angry if we don't take a risk and invest it to multiply His material (Matthew Oh for a thousand brave Peters today, our nation would fall before the King in reverence in a single hour. There would be lamenting in the streets over our filthiness and when God had touched our cheek and lifted us to our feet out of the dust and ashes, we would rejoice and sup with Him. 

Excerpts from chapters 3 & 7 of The Vision by David Wilkerson (1873)

I have seen the Jesus people of this generation as the "last Christian". Satan is going to come as an angel of light so subtle, innocents and indefinable that few will recognize what is happening to them He is going to camouflage his activities and attempt to deceive Christians with temptations that are legitimate within themselves-but that, when misused, become damning. 

The number one temptation for the last Christian will be prosperity. The Bible warns that in the last days many Christians will be halfhearted, rich, prosperous, and in need of nothing. There is nothing evil or sinful in being prosperous and successful. Most of the patriarchs in the Bible were wealthy men. 

Abraham was very rich in cattle, in silver, and in gold. Job was immensely wealthy, owning 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 teams of oxen, 500 female donkeys, and had many servants and a great home. God certainly is not against wealth and prosperity, because the Bible says he "hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servants" (Psalms 35:27).

However, I see millions of Christians being deceived by prosperity. The last Christian is going to be afflicted by prosperity and tested by it more than through poverty. In my vision, I see Satan appearing before Gods one last time, as he did to accuse Job in the Bible. But this time he comes to ask permission to tempt the last Christian. 

Here is what I see: 

And the Lord said unto Satan, Where have you come from? Satan answered, From going to and fro in the earth and observing the last Christian. And the Lord said unto Satan, Have you considered these last-day Christians-how dedicated, how upright, how God-fearing, and Christ-loving they are? How they try to run from your evil plots? Then Satan answered the Lord, Yes, but just take away the hedge You've built around them. Job wouldn't forsake You in his poverty-but just increase and bless all the last Christians far beyond anything Job ever had and then see what happens. Make all these last Christians affluent like Job. Build them fancy new homes-give them fine automobiles-all the money and gadgets they need. Swamp them with campers, boats, world travel, fine clothes, exotic foods, land holdings, and savings accounts.

See what happens to your last Christians when they become full, rich, increased with goods, and are in need of nothing. They will forsake God and become self-centered.

I see automobiles, clothes, motorcycles, and all kinds of materialism becoming a bigger hindrance to the Christian than drugs, sex, or alcohol. I see thousands of Christians attached to and obsessed by things.

They are so wrapped up in materialism that they become lukewarm, blind, weak, and spiritually naked. Yet in the midst of all their materialism, they are miserable and totally dissatisfied. In my vision I see Satan standing back and laughing with glee: Look at all the money-mad Christians all the clothes hogs! Bitten by the security bug! Making heaps of money! Buying all new furniture! Getting bigger cars! Buying two or three of them! Buying, planting, selling, marrying, and divorcing! It ruined Lot's generation. And it will get you, too. Look at all the well-paid, easy-living, big-eating Christians getting lazy, lukewarm, and becoming easy prey. God pour it on them. It's getting to a lot of them, and it's making my job easier.

The God who owns the cattle of a thousand hills wants nothing that man owns. Not his house, car, clothes speedboat, or surfboard. He wants only first place in the hearts of those who call themselves by His name.

Let the dollar fail. Let depression or recession come with its unemployment and fear. Let pollution and inflation come. Let there be wars and rumors of wars. Let the fabric of society disintegrate. Let mankind go to the drunken brink of disaster. For the true child of God, everything is still under control! It really doesn't matter-nothing can harm those who abide under the shelter of His almighty wings. The shadow of the Almighty is bigger than any fearful shadow this age can project. God's children need fear no evil. His children will never beg for bread, and He will supply every true need up to the very last minute of time.

God has not promised to keep His children from suffering. He has not promised to keep us from facing an hour of need. We have no promise of world peace, tranquility, security, or continuous financial well-being. We are promised peace and security of soul and mind-the supernatural provision for every true need-and assurance that we would never have to beg for bread. God would rather we all come to the place Paul the apostle came to when he said, "Having food and raiment let us be therewith content"- (I Timothy b:6)

The future looks evil and foreboding. But David said in the Psalms, "I will fear no evil." This is the message for believers today. The future is also under His control, so we need not fear. God has it all preprogrammed. He knows the exact moment Christ will return. The final tribulation, the judgment, and the battle of Armageddon are all on His calendar. The God who controls all of heaven and earth said: "The nations are as a drop of a buckets and are counted as the small dust of the balance: ... All nations before him are as nothing) - - - less than nothing"- (Isaiah 90:15,17)

God wants us to keep working until the return of Christ. That means simply that we are to work as though the end will never come and live as though it were coming tomorrow. 

Poem- Author Unknown

I learn as the years roll
onward
And I leave the past
behind,
That much I had counted
sorrow
But proves that God is
kind\
That many a flower I had
longed for
Had hidden a thorn of
pain
And many a rugged bypath
Led to fields of ripened
grain

Quote
"Cheshire Puss," she began rather timidly--- "would you tell me, pleases which way I ought to go from here?" "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the cat. "I don't care where..." said Alice. "Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the cat.. -- Lewis Carroll in "Alice in Wonderland" 

The Blessing of Thorns- Author Unknown

Sandra felt is low as the heels of her shoes as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door.

Her life had been easy, like a spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease.

During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son- She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose annual holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come.

What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder.

"Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered aloud. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he near-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you? The shop clerk's approach startled her. 

"I --- I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra. 

"For Thanksgiving? Do you want beautiful but ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the Thanksgiving Special?" asked the shop clerk.

"I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blunted out. "in the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong." Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the door's small bell range and the shop clerk said, "Hi Barbara --- let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped --- there were no flowers.

"Want this in a box?" asked the clerk.

Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke! Who would want rose stems with no flowers!

She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed. "Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said as she gently tapped her chest.

"Uhh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uhh... she just left with no flowers!"

"Right--- I cut off the flowers. That's the Special... I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet."

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that?" exclaimed Sandra.

"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling very much like you feel today," explained the clerk. 

"She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery."

"That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk, "and for the first time in my life, I had to spend the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra. "I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly.

"I've always thanked God for good things in life and never thought to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hits did I ever ask! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important I always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I
guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God." Just then someone else walked in the shop.

"Hey, Phil!" shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man. "My wife sent me in to get our usual
Thanksgiving arrangement--- twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?

"No --- I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from "thorny" times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks to Him for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "Its all too---fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make noses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remembers it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns." 

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?" asked Sandra. "Nothing." said the clerk.

"Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me.

"The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra.

"I'll attach this card to your arrangement but maybe you'd like to read it first."

It read: "Dear God, I have never thanked you for my thorns. I have thanked you a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns- Show me that I have climbed closer to you along the path of pain. Show me that, through my tears, the colors of your rainbow look much more brilliant." 

Another Point of View by: Jonathan Pilch (age 15)

Some people relate dark to cold.
But I known that though I'm not very old
this does not always have to be true,
because here it is dark, but I'm warm through and through.
Although this space is tight and small,
it gives me security that surpasses all.
A life of simplicity is my way of life,
and without many luxuries, I'll have little strife.
While staying here would make me content,
I know that my life here, soon will be spent,
and I will journey to a place I don't know,
where I will encounter both friend and foe.
Though now a life of innocence I live,
soon to me, a test, life will give.
Then I will choose what person I am,
a person who is great, or unknown to man.
I will choose whether to be goods or bad,
and I'll live with the choice that I will have had.
So, while I'm content with where I currently wait,
the path to the future is a wide open gate.
But now, the time has come, to go through the door,
and see what, for me, life has in store.
So what now is this thing? Is it what they call light,
shining down on me so glorious and bright?
But the air around me so coldly hurled,
as if to remind men here lies a new world.
And now in a few moments, I'll be one who is free.
Being a child will be a new step for me.
But alas, what is this pain, piercing my head?
I'll never know, for now I am dead.
All my future is gone, erased from the earth,
all because of a "never occurring" birth.
It would have been murders in three seconds or so.
But according to law, they said I could go.
There would have been many laughs and giggles.
Each one of them caused by my coos and my wiggles.
There could have been many great deeds done,
through me, a small and innocent one.
But they put an and to my innocent life,
with the small blade of a little knife.
And what of those who committed the crime?
Those who ended my life in such a short time.
They walked away with a wad of paper, green,
as the horror of their act, by them, goes unseen.
But if nothing is done, and there is no sorrow,
yet an other murder will occur tomorrow.