10-6-2008

A letter with PICTURES from Brian Christine

Brian Christine 13861937
2500 Westgate
Pendleton, OR97801

Dear Friends-

I have some very special news to report.  As many of you know, since 2003, my prison has been denying visits between myself and my oldest 3 daughters, Bethany, Lydia, and Miriam.  There are the Three Ruth and I took back in 2001.  The reasons given for the denials were varied and unfounded.

I fought these decisions all the way to the top of Oregon's DOC, and to no avail.  So finally, I submitted a several-inch-thick Federal lawsuit on multiple rights violations.

Against all odds, a settlement was offered me just one week before my girls were to be visiting us from England.

The whole deal was fast-tracked so I would be able to see them mid-July.  The hand of Goad was clearly visible in this miracle, as so many of the occurrences just do not happen here.  I was even allowed to take my guitar to the 1st visit to help break the ice after 7 years of separation.

We sang familiar English worship songs they already knew from church.  We also played games and get to know one another.  

Holding hands, I prayed for each of them individually at the end, and I felt the Holy Spirit doing a restorative work in my family.

I had not been able to hug my girls for 7 long years, and I cannot express the joy I felt in tickling, chasing, spinning, and cuddling them.  The are so very precious to me.

I also cannot express the grief I experienced after they left.  Bethany broke down sobbing at the end of the visit, and all I could see in my mind for the day's remainder was her crumpling into my arms in tears.  I stayed in my cell the rest of the day and wept.

Following this was some depression, some anger, and some healing, as I navigated the grieving process of a lost 7 years of innocence with my children.

I am still recovering, and have not been writing but a few letters to anyone, save close family.  I hope to regain my former stamina in correspondence, but honestly, I've lost much of my drive to do music, to write, and many other things.  My heart is crying out for a final restoration.

My release date is February 2013, but even if I were released tomorrow, I'd have a massive uphill battle to get our family back together.  Oregon forces 3 years probation after release from prison, and the I'll have to move to Michigan to work on regaining custody of our youngest two daughters living with my mom (Abbey and Olivia).

If this weren't enough difficulty, Ruth faces deportation to England next year, and though she'll be near our oldest 3 girls, she will not be allowed back to the states at all.  And England isn't too keen in allowing felons in like myself.  Nor does either country respect marriage any longer

Piled on top of that is the uncertainty all of you out there are already feeling with looming economic disorder, crazy weather, threats of war and political instability/ breakdown.

All this weighs heavy on me, and I speak the truth when I say that the only two things I look forward to right now are the rapture or death.

That may sound shocking, but you must realize, I've done all a man needs to do.  I've traveled North America and Europe, graduated college, married, raised kids, started businesses, owned properties, written songs, stories, and had all manner of adventures.  What my soul longs for and yers for is Jesus and His government.  I'm done with this world (1 John 2:15).

I don't want to be selfish and pray for God to take me, because that would leave my family with even more pain and grief, and I've caused them enough of that already.  But, I tell you, my heart is no longer in this world.  I DO love God's creation, but what we've done to this planet and each other, myself included, sickens me.  And there is one single remedy- The return of Jesus Christ (John 14: 1-3).

It's my deepest hope that He returns soon.  Let us make ourselves ready.  If He doesn't return soon, we still need to be close to Him for help navigating the Horrors ahead.  And if He does return soon, and I do believe He will, then our days of doing good works on earth will be at an end, and we'll have no further opportunity to add to them.  Remember our reward is in heave, or lack of them, last for all eternity.  Selah.

Me and Abbey (now 7) pit skills with Olivia (8)

Finally, I am working at getting back to productivity.

Thank you so much for all your prayers =).  Keep hand to the way and ↑Look Up↑

Love, Brian