About 5:30 pm Monday, my older daughter and I came home to find a Benton County deputy in our drive. He wanted to talk to me about Alex's bruises. I didn't know Alex had bruises. I admitted I had spanked her, but had not intended to bruise her. He asked to see the spoon. I didn't trus him, so I refused. I asked him what was the next course of action. He said, "You don't want to talk to me, you'll find out."

     The deputy called a Linn County Services to Children and Families (SCF) caseworker. With no prior history by our family, and with no further investigation, the caseworker said, "Pull the child."

     About 6:00 p.m. my son and I were playing the piano when I saw someone walk up the front walk. Thinking it was SCF coming to take the children, I rushed them to my bedroom and directed them to stay there no matter what happened. I had often heard if you let them in, they can take the children; don't answer the door or talk to them without a lawyer. I sat down on the stairs and prayed, asking God to direct me as to whether to answer the door. I heard pounding and shouting at the front door but couldn't make out the words. Finally I heard them say they would kick the door in if I didn't answer it. The pounding escalated to kicking, I opened the door before the deadbolt gave way. I was surprised to see two deputies.

 - "Our children are terrified of the police." 

     One deputy told me to step outside. I said, "Why?" He said, "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!" I asked them to please have a seat and wait five minutes so I could reach my husband; I couldn't leave my children unsupervised. They grabbed my arms and twisted them behind my back. I was terribly frightened leaving the children alone with these violent men. I tried to shake off their grip, asking over and over that they please let go of me so I could call my husband. They forced me to the floor, injuring my knees and wrists. I told them I should have a right to make a phone call. One of the officers said, "You're so good at knowing your rights, I'll read you your rights."

     In desperation, I called my son down. I told him to call our neighbor, and have her come quickly. She arrived momentarily. I told her I was being arrested for spanking Alex. The officers stuffed me into their car and took me to jail. They left our older two children with our neighbor, but took Alex. Life will never be the same.

 - "Our sense of personal security is gone." 

     The next few days were a nightmare of the worst kind. While I was being booked on felony assault charges, Alexandra was placed in a foster home. We had no idea where she was, nor if we would ever see her again. We were terrified for her safety.

     When our attorney called to ask where Alex had been taken, he was told, "We have no record of an Alexandra Gilman."

     It took more than a day for the system to locate her. We wondered why our other children hadn't been taken. We lived in fear that it was only a matter of time before deputies or SCF came back for them. Meanwhile, Alexandra cried to be taken back home to her mommy, and wondered if she would ever see us again.

     During her time in foster care, Alex was not bathed. She was not hugged. No one bothered to ask if she were on medications or had allergies. We asked that Alexandra's beloved purple security blanket be given to her. She never received it. When Alex cried for her family, the foster mother tried to comfor her by showing her a photo album of children who had never returned to theirs.

 - "Our family suffers flashbacks and nightmares." 

     After thousands of dollars in legal expenses and couseling required by SCF, we are a shaken family. Our home has been violated and is no longer sanctuary for us. We still jump in fear when there is a knock at the door. Nightmares haunt our sleep. Alexandra cries easily now and wonders when she will be taken again. Nathaniel and Samantha are unnaturally somber. A part of their innocence has been forever ripped from them. This system was set in place to protect children from harm. In our case, they caused far more harm than a spanking ever could. How many more families must suffer before necessary changes are made to SCF and Law Enforcement?

     SCF and Law Enforcement were quietly contacted by representatives of the Gilman family. Both agencies stated their actions were according to policy. They aren't sorry. They'd do it again.