403 West Highway 82
Wallowa, OR 97885
Services to Children
and Families
Wallowa Branch
PO Box A
502 South River
Enterprise, OR 97828
Attn: Stephanie Williams
I have received your
letter of July 26,1999. I don’t believe
I will be showing that letter to Joanna as she undoubtedly would not take it
well.
I take great offense
to past references characterizing my parenting of Philip as “abusive”, “physically abusive”, “mentally
abusive”, and now you state “…mental
injury he has suffered over the years…”.
Further, you state “…and the fact
that it appears the he has already been set up to fail should he come back into
your home…”.
What’s the deal? Are Children’s Service Agency employees
required to take “Obtuse Accusation 101”, “Advanced Jumping to Incorrect
Conclusions”, and “How to Always Blame the Parent(s) and get away with it”?
I have very recently recognized the agencies lack of
comprehension that I was fulfilling the position of “Father” to Philip in his unmedicated
state.
I regard the comments
about “abusiveness” as serious and slanderous, and detracting from the
real issue. I do not intend to tolerate
further accusations.
The treatment center
decided a few weeks ago to try taking Philip off the medication again
and were met with some pretty undesirable behavior- again. Even with the medication, on his last home
visit his behavior was unacceptable within the general public definition of the
self-control a 15-year old should display (this
is not my definition or opinion).
Your statement: “At this point it is felt that you are not
able to provide the kind of environment Philip needs and that is why there is a
need for placement elsewhere”, I whole-heartedly agree with. Joanna cannot control Philip when Philip
cannot control himself. I simply cannot
earn a living and supervise Philip at the same time.
I think you may be
able to appreciate why I do not wish to be placed in that position again- especially
considering that I get the blame for his behavior and called “abusive” if I
have to control it.
Further, I REFUSE to be financially responsible for his
actions. The City of Wallowa passed an ordinance
making me responsible for $2500 per incident, which I am not interested in
paying.
Leonard
Henderson Page 2
The last discussion
Joanna, Paul, Jane, and I had concluded with the decision that Philip would
come home this weekend for a visit. If
the first home visit meets with any success, the plan is to try progressively longer
visits. If Philip does adjust and
perform acceptably, he will then acclimate back into the family. I will not be around to supervise him
because I have to make a living.
No discussion yet has involved any “parenting tips” which I
thought was the whole idea.
Nobody yet has made
any statements along the line of: “If Philip throws a chair through the $500
window, you can….(only suggestion I ever
heard a couple years ago was “call the cops and file a complaint”, and I think
you said it).
Do they have any
“tips” or “what-if scenarios”? They
haven’t given me a single one yet.
If Philip returns to the home,
1. He WILL NOT harass, threaten or harm the children,
2. He WILL NOT antagonize or abuse Joanna,
3. He WILL NOT begin stealing again,
4. He WILL NOT throw temper tantrums,
5. He WILL NOT disappear downtown for hours at night,
6. He WILL buckle down in school,
7. He WILL comply with our reasonable rules,
8. AND start thinking about his future and demonstrate some
interest in accomplishing it.
I know those
expectations are not too high for a 15 year old.
If, it is obvious that Philip should not be placed back in
our home, I suggest being honest and truthful in stating why he should
not (such as Karen McConaughey stated:
“This is a sick little boy”), instead of abasing me?
The purpose of this letter is to officially document what my position and intentions are and to completely clarify the issues.
Sincerely,
J. Leonard Henderson